Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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