That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
