i just google imaged poop.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
