We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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