I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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