He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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