Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
