Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
