Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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