I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
