is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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