I murdered the dance floor call the cops
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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