I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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