sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
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no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
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And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize