he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
the liver wants what the liver wants
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
