so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
