Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
