Swine flu. Run for my life!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me