This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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