So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
