guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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