I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
