on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize