you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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