Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
