Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
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i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
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do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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