the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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