soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
a search helicopter?!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
