so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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