My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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