My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
