my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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