He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
