Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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