Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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