I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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