PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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