Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
