Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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