so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
