I want to stick my p in your. b.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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