I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
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Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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