So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he fucked my hip out of place.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
