I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
