I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
