i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize