I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
