Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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