i wish peter jackson would direct porn
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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