Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
