dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
