I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize