I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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