he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
