I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
