so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
