After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
