Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
