so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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