after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
