there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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