the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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