I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
