Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
