Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i now understand why vodka
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
