Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Randomize
