Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
