I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
