dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
