ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
