Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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