Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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