i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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